8/28/2023 0 Comments Arranged marriage statistics![]() We don’t have our parents or any others to blame if it doesn’t work. It has its own share of strains, which sometimes are increased by the fact that we have to take full responsibility for our choice of a partner. A love marriage needs as much work as an arranged marriage. Scott Peck says, ‘Love is not effortless. What can possible go wrong? Many things, actually. We find our soul mates, get married and live happily ever after. On the surface, love marriage seems perfect. Finding a balance between one’s own desires and satisfying our parents’ wishes is a hard task which we all struggle with. On the other hand, love marriage is also often misunderstood as an expression of freedom or rebelling against one’s parents. Sometimes such people enter a marriage in which they know they will be unhappy just so that their parents are happy. To do otherwise seems to be perceived as disrespectful to their parents and a betrayal to their family. They feel that they HAVE to accept their parents’ choice of a life partner for them. When I talk to people who are about to get into an arranged marriage, I often sense that many of them feel a strong sense of obligation and duty to their parents. Each partner will have to learn to understand and accommodate the other and begin to appreciate the good things in the relationship. So, once the wedding happens, there is a tremendous need for adjustment. Another drawback is that the couple might not have enough time to get to know each other, understand each other’s feelings, values and opinions, about different issues. If you say ‘I don’t feel anything for him/her’, family members might respond saying ‘ Love will grow in time’. Emotional and physically compatibility is overlooked in favour of practical considerations. Perhaps this could be one of the reasons why India has such a low divorce rate.Ĭritics of arranged marriage would say that not enough importance is given in such marriages to how the couple feels about each other. While this might seem like an unemotional way to go about it, the value of a stable marriage is undeniable. Security and stability seem to be the most valued things looked for in an arranged marriage. Do they share the same background (cultural and religious), socio-economic status, level of education, similar values? If so, they feel they can safely marry their son or daughter into this family, knowing that they will be taken care of and live a life quite similar to their parents’. ![]() While looking for a partner for their son or daughter, parents will first check if the potential bride or groom’s family is compatible to theirs. ![]() An arranged marriage focuses on this family union. While not all of these marriages are successful, some of them certainly are.Ī marriage is not just a union of two people but a coming together of two families, two social networks which are now more closely linked than ever before. However, it is a fact that about 90 % of Indians still have arranged marriages. For many modern young people of today’s generation, an arranged marriage does not hold much attraction. You have this scary feeling that they won’t just be joking about it in the near future. “Maybe you should just meet him/her once before you say ‘no’”. Only half joking, they say your uncle or aunt knows someone who would be really perfect for you. Your parents have started making subtle hints about you getting married soon.
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